On Mother's Day

This post is a couple of days early, because I will not be available to blog on Mother's Day.. plans await. So here is my post, my tribute to my mama on this first Mother's Day without her (and my Nanny.. I have to include my grandmother). I am going to post today's 'daily meditation' from the book 'Healing After Loss' by Martha Whitmore Hickman. No words can express this feeling deep within the hole in my heart.. but this is close.  I could not say it any better:

"The warm air makes me dream of what was, and of what would be if you were here. I know that this dream is but an inaptitude to live the present. I allow myself to drift on this current without looking too far or too deep. I await the moment when I will find my strength again. It will come. -Anne Philipe
Our world is full of things that will take us back into the past, remind us of our loved one and what we have lost by his or her passing.  Old songs.  Fragrances.  Seasonal changes of weather.  Holidays.  Birthdays.  The list goes on.
Well, let them come, these reminders.  Sometimes they bear with them a poignant sweetness.  Sometimes we think they will break our hearts, so devastating is our sense of loss, brought into sharp focus again.
As time passes, these sieges will be more short-lived, easier to move through and come out on the other side.
It is well not to fight these images of a lost world, to let them pass through us - savoring their sweetness if it is there, bearing the pain while it lasts - knowing that in a little while we can lay claim to ourselves again.

The journeys into the past always include a way back into the present, which is where I live."

Mama and Nan.. I miss you both so much.  I hope that you are in a very, very good place and that you can see how much you are loved and missed.
All of my love to you.

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