The Endless Loop

My life as a parent seems to be stuck in this endless loop:  
>>Start Loop
Routine, pleasant days.
Change to 'hm, could something be amiss?'
Change to 'omg someone in an 'expert' role has led me to believe that YES something IS amiss!'
Leading to 'research/stepping back to gain perspective/try not to over-worry'
Culminating in: 'ok was NOT as bad as the expert made it sound and everything is fine'. 
>>Goto Start Loop


So now you are wondering - what's new?  Are we at 'hm' or are we at 'omg expert.. blahblahblah yet again'.  Well, we are somewhere in between the two.  There should be support groups for this.  
Maybe there are.

The latest concern is Devi.  We have known for over a year that she has Sensory Processing Disorder, and she has qualified for OT and has been rec'ing in-home OT for a year now.  This week was our evaluation for potential termination of services.  She will be turning 3 in August, which means that if she does qualify for further services, it will be done through preschool and no longer thru at-home care.
She had been doing so great all year that her OT and I seriously thought, 2 months ago, that she would def. not qualify for further care.
But then, everything changed.
Honest to god.. how did this happen?  Everything had been sooo positive!!
What has been happening is this:
The past 2 months, Devi has taken many steps backward.  She has been throwing horrid tantrums at home, being aggressive with her sister (and trying with mom and dad), having sleep issues, and a few other odd new habits have arisen.  She has a series of questions 'where is mommy?' 'where is maya?' 'where is daddy?', 'where is Tasha?' - that she asks ALL the time, over and over.  When it is bedtime, she freaks out and just repeats 'mommy? mommy? mommy? mommy?' forever - inbetween complete terrified panic-attack-type-meltdowns.  There is no way to calm her (that I have found yet).
I kept asking at school (she goes to a preschool a few hours almost every day - mainly b/c this had been working great and leading to improvements in her behavior/speech/etc - and we were going for routine/consistancy) - and they kept telling me that she  was 'high-energy and loud, but happy and chatty'.  So no worries right?
Last week she was 'written up' for aggressive behavior, and we suddenly found out that there were MANY issues that she has had for quite some time.  Boiled down to one word 'uncontrollable'.

So her eval on Tuesday turned out to be 'Eval Part I', b/c the evaluating team thinks that she does need more therapy - and thinks she will qualify for this type of preschool environment.  
They are also quite concerned about some of her delays (not responding to verbal requests, unable to function in even small group situations).  Next week will be the big eval - they are bringing in a psychiatrist who will give the 'yes/no' decision on the preschool and give more input to what is being seen.

Poor Devi.  Just worried for her and her future.  Dam, parenting is never easy is it?  
For now, I have notified the current preschool that I'm pulling her out (they were awesome about this btw - probably bc her teachers are losing their minds).. and I'm going to start spending as much 1:1 time that I can with her, to see if we can achieve some of these milestones that she has missed and get her back to the great place she seemed to have been in a few months ago.  She does great 1:1, so I'm looking forward to helping her.  Also looking forward to advice and info resulting from next week's evaluation. 

Hoping to move on to the next steps of the loop and get back to 'calm routine'!!

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