One of 'Those Moms' ..Again

Posted by Unknown

Sex In The City 2.. I have one word:
"Cheeeeesey".
Bleh. 
I spent most of the (much too long) movie being embarrassed for my girls.  And I LUV my SITC girls!  But alas, this movie was a bomb.

There was one bit of the movie, however, that rang-in near and dear to the hearts of both myself and the friend who joined me at the theater.  If you saw the movie, I am referring to the two scenes that dealt with Charlotte and her mommy-meltdowns. 

The first scene depicted a meltdown.  Charlotte was (wtf?!) making a gazillion pink-frosted cupcakes in her white kitchen.  Wearing a WHITE dress mind you.  An expensive, vintage white dress.  She was trying to talk on the phone at the same time.. and manage her two small children.  Needless to say, one child screamed incessantly the entire time {hmmm.. now THAT sounds familiar..} while the other got into the red food coloring and ended up making a huge red/pink mess - including red handprints on the butt of her mom's white vintage dress. 

OK, so there are so many things wrong with that scene - so many 'um - no - {freaking} - way' - things wrong with that scene.. that the scene looked like something out of a 'Count how many things are not right in this picture' child's game.

Where I am going with this, however, is into the pantry with Charlotte.  After the 'handprints' incident, mommy had to get away for a moment.  Time-out for mommy in the pantry.. as Charlotte dissolved into tears.  Now THIS I can relate to!  Not that I have cried in the closet..
yet..
but this could occur at any time. 

Mommy is stressed today!!  This job, my friends, is not for the faint-of-heart.  If you are childless and out there scoffing at harried-looking moms being screamed at in public venues by ungodly-loud toddlers.. if you are thinking (ok, I used to be this person!)..
'Good god woman - get a grip on your kids!!'..
well..  I don't blame you.  And I hope you are never in my shoes.

Seriously.. my almost-3-yr old daughter is starting to worry me.  At any time now, I expect her head to start whipping around in circles and pea-soup to spray across the room. 

So I guess maybe we are in the midst of the 'Terrible Two's and Three's'.  Add in the fact that Devika has sensory processing issues and likely will be diagnosed with ADHD (according to her OT).. and you might start to understand why mommy needs to ensure she is stocked up on wine prior to hubby traveling during the week!!  Good god, I can't imagine the havoc this child could create at a liquor store full of glass bottles.  {Someone needs to start a delivery service that focuses on evening-mommy-needs.  Wine runs, decent take-out food, anti-anxiety medications.  ;) }
 
I made the HUGE mistake this evening of stopping at Target with my girls, in order to pick up a pair of shoes for Maya.  It was 5 pm.. just before dinnertime.  Obviously not a good idea.  The entire time we were in the store - there might have been 5 minutes of not hearing Devika screaming 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!'.  And that 5 minutes occurred when I let her out of the cart and she took off sprinting down the aisles at full-speed.  Honestly, that girl is FAST.  She hit the ground running and did not even hesitate at the end of the aisle - just kept flying around the corner and down the next aisle, where I was able to intercept her. 
'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!'
o m g.  Somehow I maintained myself (outwardly) and simply placed her (took a few minutes of corralling the kicking legs and flailing arms) back in the cart.  I ignored her tantrums and calmly helped Maya select her shoes.  Continued ignoring as we left the store and drove home.  I'm not even sure - I think she stopped yelling prior to check-out - but could be that my brain simply shut-down.

That is just a glimpse into my life as-of-late.  Devika is with me 24/7 now, as we had to pull her out of her preschool/day-care.  While I seriously do enjoy spending more time with her and having more 1:1 time, I am finding it a little challenging to change my mental focus.  I had been very involved and excited about some work-related opportunities and marketing avenues that I was embarking on.. but those have to go on the backburner.   I'm also not going to take more classes this upcoming school year.  Full dedication needed to getting the family life running smoothly and helping Devi adjust/etc.
I am still in the 'new' phase of adjusting to 100% full-time mom.  I need to get better at not being anxious about the non-mom things in my life and focus.  I'm getting there.
Maybe the ADD isn't Devi's issue.. ha!  

So our babysitter now refuses to sit for us, as she is afraid of Devi's tantrums and doesn't know how to handle them.  I do have a new sitter, but she is only available on day/wk for a few hours. 
Needless to say, I'm having to get used to not working much at all.  No way that I can take care of this child and work.  She sleeps well at night, but I am so exhausted by the end of the days that I cannot even focus on anything past 9 pm. 
Luckily D does not melt down too badly if she is given a constant change of activity and is 1:1 with me.  Gymnastics class is great for her - 45 minutes of constantly changing physical activities (only 2 tantrums in todays class).  She also loves water, so I let her play in a baby pool with some barbies today - big hit.  Very warm weather is my friend.

Ok I guess this sounds like a very whiney post, but .. well.. ok maybe it is.  :)  Long day. 
And don't get me wrong here.. (though I'm sure anyone who is a parent will understand).. I luv this kid to death!!  She is amazing, hilarious, incredibly loving (after she beats you over the head of course!), and has an infectious smile.  These issues are not her fault.. it is just up to her parents to help her figure out how to work past them.

Luckily our OT brought us a behavioral analyst last week and I am working on some ideas to try to help some of these tantrum-y issues.  Nothing working yet, but it is too soon.  I haven't finished all of my 'photo-taking' to create visual help for Devi.  She responds well to visual cues, so I am working on addressing many of her meltdown-triggers with photo-cards.  We will see how it goes.
If these ideas do not help, our OT has suggested that we seek further help for D.  She has given me a few names and numbers. 
Devi has also qualified for the special preschool service, so she will be starting that in early August.  Hopefully that will be helpful. 
In the meantime..  thank god for Maya being in a good phase, chik-lit audiobooks that make me laugh, and the fact that we have a pool so that I can swim on the days I cannot run.  Running sooo helps to keep my mood balanced.  Just can't run when Aj travels.  Thankfully he has started a new job/new company where his traveling should be much lighter.  Let's hope! 

If not, you might just look for me in the pantry.  :)