International Adoption: Questions You Were Afraid To Ask!
The following videos are the educational videocasts that I created, in part, for my final project in one of the grad courses I am taking.. and in part for purposes of helping to answer adoption-related questions that pre-adoptive families (particularly internationally-adopting families) may have.
Please feel free to watch and share - I hope you enjoy! Thank you to everyone who shared content ideas with me. I hope that I have answered a few of your questions!
If you have any additional questions or feedback, please leave me a comment. If you enjoy and would like to see (or hear, as I really am sick of watching myself talk on these videos.. ) me cover any different topics - please do not hesitate to leave a comment and let me know!
Note that I gave out the incorrect blog address at the end of part II. {eye roll}
As I posted a couple of weeks ago, I am in the process of creating a videocast entitled, 'Adoption - Frequently UN-Asked Questions'. I wanted to send out one last request for your questions. I will not be taking any questions after Thursday, March 11th.
Please limit your questions to more personal-type inquiries. Though I might feel like an expert in the field of adoption (after adopting our two amazing little girls from India within the past 4 years).. I technically am not! I will not be discussing current adoption timelines, paperwork questions, or financial aspects. I am assuming that this videocast will appeal to pre-adoptive families, or families who are just considering or beginning the adoption process. I am planning to answer questions that have been posed to me, as an adoptive parent, in the past.. from these types of families.
I will be answering questions along the lines of.. 'why did you decide to adopt internationally?'.. 'were you afraid to meet your child for the first time, and can you describe the experience?'.. 'how did you choose your agency?'.. 'did you have problems bonding with your child?'.. 'how do you handle the issue of race with your child?'.. 'are you going to/did you tell your child she was adopted'.. etc..etc..
So if there are questions that you have always had, but were afraid to ask (or just did not know WHO to ask).. here is your chance!! Post your questions to the comments of this blog entry, or post your email address and I will get in contact with you.
Don't forget to spread the word to your friends and families!
I saw this headline today.. and normally I would not even bat an eye, but would ignore the silly media headline and continue in my original surfing direction. Today, however, I found the timing of this article to be somewhat coincidental and humorous (and still strikes me as very silly that people waste their time worrying about the haircut and wardrobe of a celebrity's 3-yr old child).
Let's rewind and play-back a conversation that I had with my 4-yr old daughter last night at the dinner table:
Maya: Mom? When are we going to heaven?
{Instantly I am on alert, and my 'try to give the appropriate response as indicated by recent psychological research' mom-mode kicks in. Is she going to talk about Grandma and Grandma-Nanny? Are we going to have a deep discussion (again) on dying and heaven? What triggered this? Did she have a dream about Grandma? Is she scared? Does she think she is going to die soon? Is she afraid that I am going to die soon?}
Me: I don't know sweetie, but I hope it isn't going to be for a long, long time.
{Maya looks crest-fallen}
Maya: Do you think that God can make me a boy in heaven? I want to be a boy.
Me: You want to be a boy in heaven? I think that God can make you anything that you want to be in heaven.
{Maya looks very happy. I am a bit worried about my response, and hope that she doesn't try any type of quick detour to her 'boyhood' in heaven! Good lord.}
For the rest of the evening, Maya talked occasionally about the fact that she likes boys and wants to turn into a boy (note that this child, since the inception of potty-training and learning about boy vs girl 'parts'.. has insisted that she is going to be a boy and wants to stand-up to pee). She wants to wear boy clothes, and begged me to buy her a button-down shirt and tie from the catalog I was perusing for the girls' Easter dresses. After I refused to buy her a 'boy' Easter outfit, she finally seemed to be satisfied with the selection of a blue dress with a blue bunny sweater. 'NO PINK!' 'I WANT BLUE!'
Criminy! I was hoping to buy the girls very cute, matching Easter dresses in a tea-rose color with big bows on them. SIGH. Maybe next year. Our Easter photo shoot is taking a new direction.
This woman does NOT represent the average blonde female intelligence level. F Y I.
She does, however, make it difficult for some of us, doesn't she?
Blonde jokes. I don't hate them necessarily.. but they do get old. Especially after hearing them for many, many, many years. Occasionally they can be humorous, but usually they are just silly - predictable and worthy of only a slight eye-roll. People sometimes throw them at me and expect some type of reaction.. and I really can barely bring myself to even fake-chuckle these days. It's not that I'm feeling ridiculed and hurt (which yes, I know is the intent on certain occasions!).. it is because I appreciate fine humor, and this just isn't it.
That being said.. I think that I have become the embodiment of a very bad blonde joke this week. Maybe not an actual joke per-se.. but even I will admit that I have had a couple of 'blonde moments' this week.
{Setting: Living room. It is early on Saturday morning and I have a killer headache. Flashback to the evening prior when I was selecting the bottle of wine at PF Chang's and said 'I think maybe that wine gives me headaches. No, I don't think that is the one.' It WAS the one.}
I am laying on the couch with a cold compress on my head (thank god - that was a moment of brilliance on my part b/c it actually helped more than the ibuprofen). Devi brings me a toy 'fireman hose' that Maya rec'd for Xmas. It holds 3 small blue balls. After loading the balls, you pull back on a lever and they fly out - I guess they are supposed to look like water. Not really sure where the toy manufacturer was going with that.
Anyhow, not surprisingly - the kids have lost all but one ball. Devi does not understand why it will not work with only one ball (we have tried many times and it will not work - the ball or 2 balls will simply slide out of the hose and fall, anticlimactically onto the floor) and is beginning to throw an extremely loud 2-yr-old tantrum.
I take the gun.. oh I mean the 'fire hose' (psh) from her and look into the shooting end (that's the technical term.. ha). I see that she has loaded the one lonely blue ball into the hose. It seems to be stuck.
While eyeing the ball, trying to figure out what is holding it in place (it usually just falls out).. I pull back a bit on the lever.
Needless to say, the dam ball comes flying out of that gun at an ungodly speed and hits me directly in the right eye.
Sigh.
Fast-forward 2 days. I'm in my office, prepping for an upcoming photo shoot. I pull out my portable black backgrounds. I haven't used them in awhile, and I need to fold them up from their 5'x7' size into their collapsed ~2' circular size. I grab one, maneuver it a bit.. and it suddenly pops back into its full size, smacking me directly in the face at the same time.
If you are not a photographer or someone who has seen or used one of these stupid things.. you probably cannot fully appreciate that moment. The only thing that would have made it better is if I was in front of a client at the time that happened. {eye roll}
Here's a video of some other poor fools trying to fold a reflector (and bear in mind that my expandable background is heavier.. but same concept) so you can get the idea:
Do you have questions about adoption that you have always been afraid to ask?
Here is your chance!
I have received numerous emails, phone calls, and even personal visits to discuss questions surrounding adoption. Most of these Q&A sessions begin with the same fact-based questions (what agency did you use, what country did you adopt from, what types of documents and information about my life will I be expected to provide).. and always lead to the more personal questions (how did you decide on your agency, were you terrified to meet your child for the first time, have you honestly bonded with your child, etc.etc.etc). And of course, the personal questions are the ones that lead to page-long answers and coffee-into-lunch meetings. The personal questions are the ones that everyone really wants to ask.. but often do not know who they can ask.
Or if it is politically-correct to ask.
Soo.. here is your chance! Or here is the chance for that friend of yours who keeps mentioning that she is considering adoption but is feeling overwhelmed.
Send me your questions! I, of course, have many questions already noted from past email exchanges.. but who knows if it is the question that you have. You can be anonymous.. just comment on this post with your question, send me a personal email, or Facebook me (if you are a FB friend, of course). Direct any of your curious friends or family members over here.. no one will be turned away. ;) No worries about being uber-politically-correct also. Believe me, I am pretty sure that I've heard them all.. or at least a good number of non-pc-questions.
I will be creating a podcast or videocast to discuss this topic. I'm hoping to create this within the next week or two, so please send your questions ASAP.
Don't forget to check back to watch/listen! If you have a preference.. video or podcast (are you more apt to watch on your computer/phone or would you just like to listen while driving/working/etc) - please submit it.
Why I am doing this? I am currently taking a graduate workshop on Distance Learning in Education. This will fulfill one of the required activities for the course (though only if I have response.. so please respond.. whether it is to submit a question or to comment on the actual podcast). This however, is not the only reason that I am doing this podcast. As I had mentioned, I am asked these types of questions quite often. I had already been giving this some thought.. as maybe this would be a good reply to the emails. Maybe it would be nice to see and hear your questions answered than to just read a wordy email.
If you have been following my blogs at all, you will also know that video is my fav mode of communication. I love making films.. especially about my fav topics and people. Here is a great excuse for another!
Well, come to find out.. it might be.. Me. Have you read 'Stuff White People Like' by Christian Lander? No? Hm.. neither have I. If you actually HAVE read this book.. I might need you to tell me if I have been insulted. I did, actually, just order the book as I was told that it describes 'me' quite accurately. I scoffed, however, when I first heard this. What? Me? 'White'? Surely not. I don't mean to slam on the entire Caucasian race of course. I have just never thought of myself being the personification of 'white people'. That idea, truthfully, scares me. Especially in my current state of mind - having just finished reading 'The Help' a couple of days ago (btw..GREAT book). I have a bad feeling that I am NOT going to like this book. Does that mean that I have an identity issue? Will reading this book give me an identity crisis? I have tried to deny that this idea could even potentially be true (without reading the book yet of course.. a daring feat I admit), but was then asked if I know who 'David Sedaris' is. I guess there is an entire chapter entitled 'David Sedaris'. I can't really hide the fact that I know this author.. it seems that I have four of his audiobooks on my ipod at the moment. Yikes. We will see if the entire book describes me, or if there might just be one or two (or 30) coincidental similarities. Stay tuned next week for the (not so) thrilling conclusion.
Speaking of audiobooks.. I again have to plug 'The Help'. I actually listened to the audiobook, and I believe it might be my favorite audiobook of all time. It was sooo very good. The writing, the characters, the readers. Wow. I could almost listen again, and I have never listened to an audiobook twice. Oh wait, I did listen to Stephen King's Needful Things two times. Over a very, very long period of time though. Siiigh. That was my mom's fav book and audiobook (and one of mine). :( She actually found a store in Canada that was called 'Needful Things' and was an antique-type store. She bought me a hand mirror at that store. If you have read the book, you will understand that reference. That was one of those once-in-a-lifetime-awesome-purchases. Perfection. {when will these memories stop causing instant sharp pains in my upper-abdomen??}
Ok, ok.. I've decided that I have to end every blog post with something happy. There has been too much sorrow, pain, and anxiety in my life over the past several months. I have always believed that some people just seem to be 'magnets' for unhappiness.. and I want to ensure that I never become that. I'm starting to worry!! So - in the manner of 'The Secret' (nope, never read it.. but a friend did and was so overcome by the message that he gave me a 2-hr dissertation on it over a long dinner one night) - I am going to send positive thoughts out into the universe in order to bring positivity into my life. {one might also call that 'FAITH'.. but who am I to question the Secret}
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